How To Combat Cultural Differences In Marriage And Stay
By Marina Smiley
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner
not only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they can
share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears.
In marriage we are looking for a partner who will be able to
understand our values, our likes and dislikes.
If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country,
most likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies, jokes,
books and life in general. They basically have the same roots.
In the case of a western man -foreign woman family everything is
more complicated and requires much more patience and understanding
from both spouses.
On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn a
great deal about the otherís country, culture, traditions and life
styles which can be very interesting.
On the other hand it can be very disappointing, the inability to
understand your partnerís excitements and, or frustrations. For
example, say you are watching the television and suddenly you see a
famous actor or singer, or other type of an artist whose name you
have grown up with. Maybe this artist was an idol for your parents
and the music of this artist was often played in your house when you
were a child.
Now seeing this singer on television reminded you about your parents
and house where you grew up in . You nostalgically remembered the
tree that you saw from your window. You feel very light headed about
this memory and want to share this feeling with your foreign wife.
Unfortunately you realize that she is unable to understand your
feelings because she has no idea who this artist is.
Her eyes are absolutely empty, she has never even heard the song
before. You cannot believe it !
You tell her that this artist is so famous! Everyone knows him!
How it possible that she doesn't know???
Your light feelings of nostalgic disappear and instead you feel
within your soul at very large disappointment ...
Be patient! Donít become upset so quickly.
Remember that your wife has the same situation with you.
You don t know her countryís songs, her country's famous actors, her
books. She has her own memories and in actuality, for her,
everything is much more difficult than it is for you. At least,
you live in your own country where everybody can understand you. She
lives in completely strange surroundings, where she has nobody to
share her feelings with, except you.
Do some research and learn about your wife's country, culture and
lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions, get to know what songs
she likes, what movies and books are of interest to her.
The Internet will give you a great opportunity to find anything!
Tell her about your country's culture, let her listen to the music
that you like, rent a movie for her that left you with great
impression. Let her understand you better through the things that
Patience and time will help you to fight cultural differences
Marina Smiley is medical Doctor by education, she used to have her own successful
company back in Russia. Marina is the author of the popular eBooks "The
shocking truth about Russian brides" and "
Long distance relationships, sex and love with Russian women" Marina hates the
stereotyping of so-called "mail order brides", and believes it is
about time to set up the record straight in regard to Russian women
seeking men for marriage.